[ Vanessa may not always be the kindest when referring to others of her sex, frustrated by their obedience, but when push comes shove she empathizes with any woman forced to make her way in a world built by and for men. And obviously, plenty of them are mothers.
She's just never really had to think about what that means for the child of a sex worker beyond the abstract, and the consideration hits differently than it might otherwise, getting to know him as she has.
It must have been exhausting for his mother. There's no judgment here. Only curiosity, and caution. It could understandably be a very sore subject. ]
[Some of the memories are more difficult to recall, slipping through his fingers, just the barest hint of shapes he can't quite recall, but these ones he's certain of.]
I only ever saw the mess they left her in. They were never gentle or kind. I helped to care for her when it was especially ugly. I remember having no idea what I was doing, but teaching myself anyway.
[There are moments where Akechi struggles with hearing words such as the ones Vanessa is writing to him. It's difficult to imagine that he ever deserved anything but the misery that he's been given. But maybe, just for this one moment, hearing it from Vanessa makes it almost feel true.
Who might he have been if he'd had even a moment of kindness from someone else?]
We did the best with what we had. Until it wasn't enough. And then I did the best with what I had alone.
[His fingers freeze over the digital keyboard laid out in front of him.
It takes longer than Akechi would like to admit to remember the exact number - for a few terrifying moments, there's just nothing there, like haze in his mind trying to shield the memory he was trying to recall. But it finally comes to him, the boy sucking in a sharp breath and responding.]
Nearly eight.
Of course I wasn't left to run loose on my own. I was taken to the orphanage, but it was nothing more than an occasional shelter. At that point, I already knew I was facing the world alone.
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amurderofcrow) wrote2025-01-23 08:40 am
no subject
She's just never really had to think about what that means for the child of a sex worker beyond the abstract, and the consideration hits differently than it might otherwise, getting to know him as she has.
It must have been exhausting for his mother. There's no judgment here. Only curiosity, and caution. It could understandably be a very sore subject. ]
She kept you from them, then. The men?
no subject
[Some of the memories are more difficult to recall, slipping through his fingers, just the barest hint of shapes he can't quite recall, but these ones he's certain of.]
I only ever saw the mess they left her in. They were never gentle or kind. I helped to care for her when it was especially ugly. I remember having no idea what I was doing, but teaching myself anyway.
no subject
[ Only a child.
She may consider much of her life cursed, but she needs the occasional reminder that there are some things in life she should always be grateful for.
There are tears in her eyes, though he can't see. ]
Yet, it sounds as though the two of you did not want for love and care of one another, in the world that was made your own through such trials.
no subject
Who might he have been if he'd had even a moment of kindness from someone else?]
We did the best with what we had. Until it wasn't enough. And then I did the best with what I had alone.
no subject
That makes the understanding of what he's traded that much worse. ]
How old were you? When first facing the world alone?
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It takes longer than Akechi would like to admit to remember the exact number - for a few terrifying moments, there's just nothing there, like haze in his mind trying to shield the memory he was trying to recall. But it finally comes to him, the boy sucking in a sharp breath and responding.]
Nearly eight.
Of course I wasn't left to run loose on my own. I was taken to the orphanage, but it was nothing more than an occasional shelter. At that point, I already knew I was facing the world alone.
no subject
You were forced to see the world for its cruelty at so young an age.
Were you ever again able to find kindness, even through the shadows? Did beauty find you?
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[His answer comes so immediately, but Akechi pauses after he's already sent it, quietly considering before he adds in,]
Not until this last year. With Ren.